18 years

" [...] I hate that period of my life. It´s disturbing to me that I didn´t mourn Euronymous properly. I didn´t go to his funeral. I think lots of people went, but I had no information about it, same as when Dead died. I felt upset that no one told me the date or anything about the upcoming ceremony, but I didn´t take any steps to find out things for myself. For sure, I wouldn´t have known what to do there. I´ve still never been to his grave. I need to have a reason or a plan. I can´t just go there. I would need to be mentally strong. I have thought seriously about going there for over ten years, but it never seems right. One day I will know I am ready, but I can´t guess when that will be. I passed where Helvete used to be in a cab around 1996 and felt spooked. In 2009, I met a friend at a cafe that opened next door to where Helvete used to be. I still felt spooked.

Now there´s a semi-official "black metal tour" in Oslo organized yearly by the Inferno Festival where they go to see Euronymous´s grave, and even visit the old cellar of Helvete. Maybe for those people, it doesn´t take anything from them to peer at his grave and take a photo of the tombstone. Those things happen because of all the interest in the media, just like people want to see Jim Morrison´s grave in Paris. I´m sure people who were close to Jim Morrison don´t like that, either. Of course, there´s nothing you can do about it - people will go to his grave. I think many people fail to comprehend that Euronymous was actually a real person, but most of the tourists are teenagers or nearly so. There were a lot of things I had a hard time grasping when I was their age, too.

I truly miss Euronymous. I miss the pre-Helvete time, our friendship prior to the early ´90s, when black metal became such a big thing. He was my closest friend for a long time, and I have many memories of our incredible times. You don´t make many friends like that in a lifetime. We were almost in complete agreement, not about everything, but we liked the same things. His murder is still the most horrible thing that ever happened to me. I understand that now, but at that time I did not."

- Metalion

Quote taken from the recently published "Slayer Mag Diaries",
page 265 - 266